Family owned business

Peace Over Profit? Rebuilding After the Rift

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Series: Bloodlines and Bottom Lines – The Untold Stories of Family Business.

You know what no one tells you about family business fallouts?

It’s not just the court cases, the legal bills, or the company registrar changes.
It’s the silence at reunion dinners (in extreme cases, no dinner at all). The siblings who used to go for breakfast together every Saturday… now don’t even reply in the family group chat.

We’ve followed the Tan brothers’ journey—from shared dreams and unspoken assumptions to full-blown litigation. But what happens after the court doors close?

Can families ever come back from a business fallout?

The answer—thankfully—is yes.
But not without some honest reflection, real conversations, and sometimes, the courage to choose peace over profit.

💔 The Aftermath: Broken Bonds, Heavy Hearts

After the Tan brothers settled their case, the legal issues were resolved. But the emotional damage? That lingers.

Ah Tong told a friend, “I didn’t want to fight. I just didn’t want to be erased.”

And that’s the thing. Most family business disputes aren’t about greed. They’re about dignity.
About wanting to be seen, acknowledged, included.

The courtroom can settle ownership. But reconciliation? That takes a different kind of work.

🕊️ The Path to Healing (Yes, It’s Possible)

Let’s talk about what it takes to rebuild, based on what I’ve seen from families who’ve managed to do it—and those who couldn’t.

1. 🤫 Accept that some things may never be said.

Not everyone will apologise. Not every wound gets a neat explanation.

Families who reconcile often stop expecting the “perfect closure” and start building new trust, from today onwards.

✅ Focus on the future. Don’t get stuck relitigating the past.

2. 🗣️ Talk—but with boundaries.

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is bring in a neutral third party: a coach, therapist, mediator, or trusted elder.

These aren’t “soft skills”—they’re survival tools. When emotions run deep, you need structure and safety for the conversation to be productive.

✅ Create structured spaces to talk. Not every dinner is the right time.

3. 🧠 Get clear on values before vision.

Before talking about “next steps,” talk about what matters most. What does the family really value?

Is it legacy? Harmony? Growth? Freedom?

If your values diverge, that’s okay. It might even point to a healthy decision to separate business and family without bitterness.

✅ Start with shared values. Vision comes after.

4. ✋ Know when to walk away—with grace.

Some wounds are too deep. And sometimes, the healthiest thing you can do is let go of the business to save the family.

This doesn’t mean you “lost.” It means you’re wise enough to know that not all capital is financial.

✅ Peace is a return on investment too.

🪙 Peace Over Profit… Or Both?

Here’s a story I’ll never forget.

A client of mine, a second-gen founder named Andrew once told his dad, “I don’t want the company if it means losing my siblings.”

That moment changed everything.

Instead of pushing for titles and control, they brought in an external CEO, wrote down the family values in a charter, and focused on harmony.

Today, the siblings still own the business—but they’re not in each other’s way. And during Chinese New Year, they can still sit at the same table and laugh over fish skin crackers and childhood stories.

That, my friend, is real wealth.

💬 Questions to Reflect On (or Discuss Over Dinner):

  • What’s more important to me—being right, or maintaining the family relationship?
  • Have I ever assumed someone knew what I expected… without saying it?
  • If this business ended tomorrow, what would I want to remain?

🧭 The Big Takeaway: Build with both Head and Heart

Family businesses are sacred. They carry our hopes, our hustle, our history.

But they’re also fragile—held together not just by contracts and KPIs, but by trust, memory, and shared meaning.

If we want to build something that lasts beyond our generation, we need:

  • Structure and softness
  • Governance and grace
  • Logic and love

That’s a Wrap 🎉

Thanks for joining me on this journey through the world of family business. From messy beginnings to tough conversations and hopeful rebuilds, I hope you saw a bit of your story—and found something useful for the road ahead.

👉 What resonated most with you from this series?
👉 Have you been through something similar in your own family business?

Drop a comment, send a DM, or share this with someone who needs to read it.

And if you’re looking to start your own “family alignment” process—I’ve got tools, templates, and plenty of real life case studies/stories to help.

💌 Let’s Keep the Conversation Going:

👉 What resonated most with you from this series?
👉 Have you been through something similar in your own family business?

Drop uncle an email (TalkTo@unclehuat.com) , or share this with someone who needs to read it.

And if you’re looking to start your own “family alignment” process—I’ve got tools, templates, and plenty of real-life stories to help.

What We Can Learn from the Blow-Up when family goes to Court

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Series: Bloodlines and Bottom Lines – The Untold Stories of Family Business

Remember the Tan brothers? The family who went from “we share everything” to “see you in court”?

Today, we’re going deep into what actually happened when things got messy. And spoiler alert: it didn’t start in the courtroom—it started in silence.

Because the biggest risks in family business aren’t bad markets or bad products.
They’re bad assumptions.

Let’s break it down.

🧨 The Build-Up: Years of Unspoken Expectations

The Tan brothers (based loosely on a real case, with names changed to protect privacy) had all worked together since the early days. Some chipped in money, some managed projects, some did more “behind the scenes” work. There was this unspoken agreement that the business belonged to all of them.

But here’s the catch:
Only the two eldest brothers—Ah Fong and Ah Kheng—were listed as shareholders of their main company, Holdings One Pte Ltd

The others? They trusted that their “sweat equity” would eventually be recognised.

Fast forward 20 years. Millions in property assets. And suddenly, in 2019, the younger brothers—Ah Tong, Ah Teng, and Edwin—checked ACRA… and saw their names had been quietly removed from the shareholder list.

Their blood ran cold.

⚖️ The Court Case: When Family Becomes Litigants

After several ignored demands and awkward family meetings, the brothers did something no one wants to do—they filed a lawsuit.

What followed was a full-blown trial:

  • Each side lawyered up (well, some represented themselves—never a good idea).
  • Old emails and WhatsApp messages were dug up.
  • Contributions were disputed: “You didn’t help!” vs. “I mortgaged my house!”
  • A handwritten “Company Resolution” from 2012 showed they once agreed to divide the shares equally—but it wasn’t executed properly.
  • One brother claimed the shares were meant to be sold (and not given) but payment was never made.

At the heart of it all? Trust… broken.

🔍 The Judge’s Take: Intent Matters, But So Does Proof

The court ruled that there was an express trust in place—based on years of consistent behavior, verbal assurances, and that 2012 document.

In short, the younger brothers had a claim.
But it didn’t come easy. It took:

  • Years of litigation
  • Personal attacks in open court
  • Legal fees (think: six figures)
  • And the total breakdown of sibling relationships

No CNY reunion dinner was going to fix that.

🧠 Lessons From the Tan Brothers’ Breakdown

Let’s not waste their pain. Here are 5 takeaways every family business should note:

1. 🧾 If you’re not on ACRA, you’re not a shareholder.

It doesn’t matter what was said, promised, or WhatsApp-ed 10 years ago. In the eyes of the law, if your name isn’t on the company records, you don’t own squat—unless you can prove a trust (which is not easy and never pretty).

✅ Action: Check your ACRA listing today. Better to be disappointed now than blindsided later.

2. 🤝 Good intentions don’t replace proper documentation.

The 2012 agreement would’ve saved everyone… if they had followed through with legal share transfers. But they didn’t.

✅ Action: Don’t stop at a handshake or internal memo. File the documents. Update ACRA. Get signatures. Treat it like a business, not a birthday party.

3. 🧮 Contributions must be visible, valued, and recorded.

One brother claimed he loaned money. Another said he mortgaged his home. But without documentation or agreed valuation, it was all just he-said-she-said.

✅ Action: Keep records. If you’re contributing capital or property, make sure it’s tracked—and agreed upon by all.

4. 👨‍⚖️ Litigation is a last resort. And it’s rarely worth it.

Even when you “win,” you lose—time, money, and relationships. The Tan brothers may have resolved the shareholding issue legally, but they lost their bond as siblings. And no amount of dividends can buy that back.

✅ Action: Explore mediation early. It’s faster, cheaper, and often leads to a more dignified outcome.

5. 🧭 Unclear succession = guaranteed chaos

The eldest brothers made decisions on behalf of everyone. But when there was no roadmap for leadership, ownership, or handover… mistrust festered.

✅ Action: Start succession planning early. It’s not just about who takes over. It’s about building shared understanding, trust, and governance.

🎙️ One Brother’s Words Still Haunt Me…

“I never wanted the money. I just wanted to know my contribution mattered.”

That hit hard. Because that’s the heart of many family business disputes—it’s not greed.
It’s the hurt of feeling unseen.

Next Up in Part 5:

“Peace Over Profit? Rebuilding After the Rift”
 We’ll explore how some families have managed to reconcile, rebuild trust, and even come back stronger—plus, when it’s better to walk away for the sake of love.

💬 Have you seen a family business fall apart—or survive a rough patch? What helped or hurt the most? Drop uncle an email please (TalkTo@unclehuat.com)

Let’s help more families build legacies without losing each other in the process.

My Brothers, My Business Partners… and My Opponent?

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When Family and Business Collide – bloodlines or bottom-lines?

Have you ever sat down, kopi in hand, and thought, “Wah, family sure got drama—but at least business is different” 

Yeah… About that.. hold on to your seat, although this story is not as widely spread like the recent CDL saga, but there are plenty of learning from this drama. 

I had coffee recently with a friend—let’s call him Gerald—who’s a lawyer and he shared with me a legal tangle that sounds like an episode of “Succession,” except it’s set in MacPherson, not Manhattan. (You can google the case most probably you will find it)

His story isn’t rare. In fact, it echoes a real case I came across not long ago. And it’s one of those stories that makes you pause and think: “Can blood and business really mix?”

Business is thicker than blood?

Yea.. of course it is an ai generated picture – can’t find the heart to use any other family’s picture for this article.

Let me tell you about the Tan brothers (Not their real name, of course).

You know the type.. Five brothers, grew up working shoulder to shoulder in their dad’s construction business. From the dusty sites of Toa Payoh to the steel frames of Upper Thomson, they were inseparable. They hustled, saved, and eventually pooled resources to buy over a property company—let’s call it Holdings One Pte Ltd (again, not the real name).

Now, here’s where the plot thickens.

Initially, only the two eldest – Ah Fong (Brother 1) and Ah Kheng (Brother 2) – were listed as shareholders. “For simplicity,” they said. “We’re all in this together,” they promised. And everyone nodded because, well, they’re family. Trust is like pandan waffles – best enjoyed warm, with no surprises.

Fast forward 20 years. Properties bought, redeveloped, sold. Money flowed in. Some was reinvested, some (allegedly) loaned in, and some mortgaged. But when the younger brothers Ah Tong (Brother 3), Ah Kang (Brother 4), and Ah Pang (Brother 5) – decided to check the company’s registrar one day in 2019 (imagine that feeling, like finding out your Kaya Toast have no Kaya), they saw their names… and they weren’t there!

Instead, shares they thought were theirs had been transferred back to Ah Fong. Quietly. Without a whisper.

“Maybe it’s a mistake?” one of them said.

It wasn’t.

What followed was a family implosion. Courtrooms instead of CNY reunions. Lawyers instead of love. Claims of trust arrangements from the 90s, a “Company Resolution” they all signed in 2012, and share transfers that apparently came with no payments. 

The older brothers said it was a sale. The younger ones said it was a gift based on long-standing trust and shared effort.

Who’s right?

The High Court eventually ruled in favor of the younger brothers. Turns out, those family agreements—though informal, even a little messy—can still hold water when backed by years of consistent behavior, financial contribution, and a bit of documentation. But by then, the damage was done.

No more family dinners. No more “I got your back.” Just silence. The kind that echoes even louder in a small island like ours.

So what do we take away from this?

Look, I’ve been in corporate finance for over 15 years. I’ve helped founders exit for millions and guided families navigating sticky shareholder exits. But nothing—and I mean nothing—is more volatile than a business built on assumed trust with zero structure.

Because here’s the hard truth: feelings fade. Memories get fuzzy. But paper—paper doesn’t forget (plus now digitally it is uploaded and saved somewhere).

If you’re building a business with family, here are three lessons that you must not forget:

  1. Put it in writing. Trust is great. But contracts preserve trust. Don’t rely on verbal agreements from the ’90s when today’s assets are worth millions.
  2. Separate roles from relationships. Your eldest brother may have raised you, but that doesn’t make him your CFO if he is not financially trained. Know and define who’s wearing what hat—and the responsibilities and accountabilities that come with it.
  3. Review and refresh. Businesses evolve. So should your agreements. What made sense in 2012 may not work in 2025. Update your shareholder structure, especially when new projects or people come in.

Today, there’s a growing trend of family offices and succession planning in Singapore – especially with so many SMEs hitting the second or third generation. That’s a good thing. But plans only work when they’re followed.

There is a chinese saying “富不过三代” (fù bù guò sān dài), meaning “wealth doesn’t last three generations”, but with proper legacy and wealth planning, it could last more than three generations and the legacy last for the many generations to come.

So next time when you are hanging out with your family-business-partner, ask: “Eh, bro… we really clear on this or not? Let’s get the paper work done and sign it.”

Because if not, you might find your next family meeting happening… in court.

What do you think? Have you had to navigate business with your family before? Share your experience—anonymously or not— by dropping me an email (TalkTo@unclehuat.com). Let’s start the conversation.