𧱠Series: Bloodlines and Bottom Lines â The Untold Stories of Family Business
Have you ever seen two aunties fighting over who gets their motherâs Nasi Lemak recipe? Now imagine that same dynamic⊠but it involves property, millions of dollars, and 20 years of blood, sweat, and unspoken expectations. (p/s: if you are in Singapore, you will see there are many hawker families that split because of the recipes and this CNA’s series documented it very well – food feuds)

Welcome to family business.
In Part 1, we met the Tan brothersâfive siblings who built something special together, only to see it unravel when unspoken promises clashed with legal reality. But the Tan story? Itâs not an outlier. Itâs a pattern.
So why does this keep happening?
Letâs peel back the curtain on the quiet chaos behind many family-run businesses in Singaporeâand more importantly, what you can do before itâs too late.
𧚠Reason 1: âWeâre family. No need to write anything down.â
Sound familiar?
Itâs the most common refrain I hear when advising family enterprises. Thereâs this deep cultural reflexâespecially in Asian householdsâthat says formalising agreements means you donât trust each other.
But trust isnât about handshakes. Trust is about clarity.
Letâs say Ah Seng promises his younger sister Mei Li that sheâll get 20% of the business ânext time.â Everyone nods. Fast forward 15 years. âNext timeâ never came. And suddenly, Mei Li is scrolling through ACRA with a glass of wine and a rising sense of betrayal.
If itâs not written down, it never happened. Period.
đ„ Reason 2: Mixing roles and relationships
In theory: your eldest son handles the books, your second-born runs operations, and your daughter helps âwhen sheâs free.â
In reality? Youâve got overlapping responsibilities, zero accountability, and someoneâs spouse complaining over dinner about âcarrying the whole business.â
Hereâs the dealâjust because someone is family doesnât mean theyâre qualified. And just because someone is qualified doesnât mean they want to take over.
Clear roles, job descriptions, and performance reviews aren’t just for MNCs. They protect relationships. They prevent sibling rivalries from turning into full-blown shareholder wars.
đȘ€ Reason 3: The Next Gen isnât ready. Or worse, they donât want it.
Youâve probably heard this saying:
First generation builds it. Second generation grows it. Third generation blows it.
Harsh, but thereâs truth in it.
Many founders work 16-hour days to build something meaningful⊠but forget to build foundations for succession. So when itâs time to pass the baton, they realise no oneâs been trained, no one wants the stress, or worseâeveryone wants control, but no one wants responsibility.
If youâve never had a proper family business meeting about succession, expectations, and vision⊠itâs not too late. But youâve got to start before it becomes a fight over your hospital bed.
đ Reason 4: Money makes things weird.
Letâs be real. We donât like talking about money in most Asian families. Itâs ânot nice,â âdisrespectful,â or âlater then discuss.â
But money is the bloodstream of a business. If your brothers donât know who actually owns the shoplot, or your kids think âeverything is 50/50â because you love them equally⊠youâre sitting on a landmine.
Transparent communication about ownership, dividends, salary, and reinvestment isnât greedyâitâs governance. And it keeps Christmas dinner drama-free.
đ Reason 5: Thereâs no plan⊠just vibes.
Far too many family businesses run on vibes, not vision. Everyoneâs âjust trying their best.â But thereâs no roadmap. No strategy. No emergency plan if dad falls sick or the market tanks.
Sound familiar?
Without clarity, emotions fill the void. And once egos enter the chat, itâs very hard to walk it back.
So, What Can You Do?
- Start talking. Set up regular, structured family business meetings. Not every dinner needs to turn into a boardroom⊠but some should.
- Get it in writing. Use shareholder agreements, employment contracts, and wills. Itâs not a lack of trustâitâs a sign of respect.
- Bring in help. Whether itâs a family business coach, a lawyer, or your accountantâexternal professionals can ask the awkward questions and create safe boundaries.
- Respect the boundary between family and business. One is built on love. The other runs on structure.
đŻ Quick Self-Check: Are You Running a Business or a legacy Time Bomb?
â Do you have clear written agreements about ownership and roles?
â Have you had an open conversation about succession?
â Are family members being paid fairly and transparently?
â Do you have a mechanism to resolve disputes (thatâs not âsee you in courtâ)?
â Is everyone clear on your vision for the future?